POP lohhh

Ah, it’s the mini finale of a small chapter of my ns life. Many say that throughout your ns life, there’s no place as fun and enjoyable as bmt. Maybe I have not gone to other places yet, so I don’t know. But I guess I aint really affected by POP. Maybe, yes I aint gonna go back to that dreaded ferry terminal with that vomit-inducing petrol stench, and step foot on that godforsaken island ever again. Even if I am, I aint gonna march back to company line singing all the different versions of the same tune. But there seems to be no immense sense of loss in me, or even nostalgia. To me, its just the closing of one chapter, and moving on to another. Am I being way too inert? Is it because I haven’t really opened up to my platoon mates? Or is it because I have said premature goodbyes too many times in recent years, that all these surge of feelings are lost on me? Perhaps if the contact list and camera did not exist, the feeling would be more immense. But somehow, I only see it as a passing phase rather than, as some people put it, losing some of the best friends you have made in life. My apologies, but none of my closest friends currently are from bmtc. And I don’t see anyone potentially becoming damn close either, unless we meet each other again in wherever we get posted to. I just realized how idiotic I sound, but those who know me well enough would realize that it would take ages for me to open up to someone. People say that when you go through tough training with others you become as close as brothers. But I would hardly call that training tough. Maybe we gonna meet up, have a few laughs and that’s all. Its quite saddening, especially when people tell you that their closest friends come from bmtc, but after 9 weeks you realize you haven’t really forged a close friendship with anyone yet. Or rather I haven’t. I personally think this is bad attitude, especially coming from me. But now I just want to do my two years and get out. Its damn tiring, especially with so little free time. I need a damned social life. I aint getting any. I need freedom. I hate all this regimental stuff. Its stifling me. Why did I suddenly digress unto this shit ah?

-takes a deep breath-

hmm on another note, I think I have been blessed with good commanders, thankfully. After hearing about how some commanders screw up, and screw their recruits in the progress, I am just thankful that all that did not happen to me. The jaguar oc screwing the school one pop has to take the cake. Ask anybody from school one. On top of that, I must say I learnt a bit about leadership from some of my commanders. I found out how it is possible to use positive motivation all the way and not resort to pulling rank or threats to make your men work. My pc did that for 8+ weeks he was with us. Its admirable, especially since its something most of his much older and supposedly more experienced counterparts would not be able to achieve. In his own words, “I think you all would suffer in future. You would never find a pc who doesn’t pump his platoon.” Of course, here and there I learnt stuff from my sergeants as well. It did not take me long to realize I still have a long way to go when it comes to military knowledge, experience and leadership. And I would have a lot more to learn, wherever I end up.

In case you all haven’t realized, I broke this entry up into three parts, typing each at a different time, thus the drastic changes in tone. Yesterday was a day of pang sehs. I shant elaborate. Today is a brand new day. Lets hope for the better. =)

we marched last night ah,
we marched the night before.
now we march like we never march before.
and as we march ah,
as happy as can be,
we are the men from ORION company.
ORION company ah!
the BEST company eh!
together!
forever!
fighting fit yah!